Approaching Pain Slowly: Inner Parts Work and Focusing
Some things happened, and we still feel them today. In the body, in reactions, in a fear that jumps in uninvited. And sometimes we're not sure we want to get close to them at all.
The natural urge is to move away. And when we do get close, sometimes we go too fast and feel overwhelmed. There's a third way: to approach slowly, at our own pace, with a hand on the heart.
Two gentle approaches can help. Inner Parts Work reminds us that not everyone inside needs to be in the room at once. One part may hold the memory, another protects us from it. We can get to know both, and ask the protector for permission to come closer. Focusing adds the body: we notice a sensation, stay with it for a moment, and pause when needed.
This kind of guidance doesn't replace a therapist who is already with you on the way. It can sit beside them, as another space to listen without rushing.
A short exercise: an anchor
Before approaching something painful, it helps to know how to return. Here's a one-minute exercise.
- Place your feet on the floor and feel the contact.
- Find three things in the room that you can see, and name them silently.
- Notice your breath without changing it.
- Tell yourself: "I'm here, now, and I'm safe."
- Any time the body feels overwhelmed, you can return to this anchor.
With an anchor like this, we can sometimes approach a little, and return. In personal guidance we can do this together, on Zoom or in person in the Algarve.